Metanoia: The audacious command of Christ
...it goes so much farther than the word "repentance."
I think that the aspect where our society finds itself most at odds with Christ currently is the concept of genuine, profound personal transformation rooted in our inherent dignity and purpose. A resounding cry from the eternal heights, Christ commands, "Metanoia!" This transcends the mere notion of "repentance" as a form of remorse and religious alteration. On delving deeper into the word, we realize that Christ compels us, saying, “you are loved, but you must change and raise your very way of thinking and being to continue! In contrast, the world whispers, "You cannot change. Embrace yourself as you are." Christ declares, "Duc in altum! Put out into the deep!" while the world murmurs, "Don't be too hard on yourself... and do you need medication to cope with the anxiety caused by all this pressure?" Ultimately, it boils down to this: either we are worthless, malleable beings capable of very little save by accident, or we are exquisitely crafted entities infused with dignity—immortal beings capable of growth, transcendence, and Theosis. There is no middle ground; it is a binary choice in a time that fears binary decisions, and you can only select one at the end.
Our divisive era bears the visible scars of our failure to make this choice unequivocally, evident in our political divisions, rampant materialism, and the actual physical scars of various forms of the rainbowized genital lobotomies of our time: and that’s if you even make it out of the womb in one piece. One shattered psyche and ruined life after another, we witness the devastating consequences of embracing the notion of being a mere "fleshbot," and how attempts to navigate a middle path amidst the binary reality often result in even greater tragedy, as lukewarmness is spit out by default. Truly, if we survive, future times will look back on our current era with complete astonishment. Yet, as a person who currently holds religious beliefs, I cannot blame those who reject my faith in God, human dignity, and the profound power of virtue. This is because, for me, the name of Christ has long been obscured beyond recognition, and I am still in the process of cleansing it and approaching it from different perspectives.
Part of my personal journey as a Catholic Christian has involved distancing myself from the popularized image of Jesus—the hippy Jesus of "Jesus Christ Superstar," the name exploited by money-driven televangelists of my childhood who would scream, "Jayzzz-sus Kreist!!!," the simplistic "just love love love everybody" Jesus depicted in grade school religious textbooks, the “Jeebus” of Homer Simpson (and his easy-to-mock neighbor, Ned), and the saccharine target of countless poorly composed worship songs shamelessly promoted in the very churches that should possess better aesthetic discernment. (Nowadays, the distortions multiply further and faster, especially during the tumultuous month of June, which should otherwise be dedicated to the worship of His Sacred Heart). Christian hypocrisy certainly is a barrier to those outside of faith, though I stopped being bothered by such behavior as soon as I realized that neither I nor they had a monopoly on this particular sin. Nevertheless, for those who cannot see beyond the hypocrisy, you may take comfort in the idea that the commandment which forbids us to “take the Lord’s name in vain” is not just a proscription against foul language: it more importantly tells us that to take the Lord’s name too easily upon our wicked lips and polluted hearts is dangerous. The name of God, as well as his words, should not be bandied about lightly, for others (and by extension through them, eternity) is watching.
Returning to the notion of the popularized Jesus: I somehow always understood that this person could not be the son of God, nor could any religion who sees the son of God this way be taken seriously as a religion at all. First, my notion of religion as man’s response to the shattering reality of the infinite and almighty God had to be scrubbed clean, and then I had to slowly realize that the Jesus of popular imagination (and pop-advantageneering) was hardly the real Christ. Yet how was it possible that twelve years of Christian schooling, while living among what I now know were the ruins of Christendom and its understanding, fail to introduce me to a more authentic vision of Christ? Had we really gone off the railings so very much?
Yes, things are that dire—so very dire—in this aspect and nearly every other facet of life. The proverbial "red pill" is merely the initial step; what one truly needs to ingest is a spiritual equivalent of that distasteful yellow liquid one must consume in copious amounts the night before a colonoscopy, as everything must be expelled to start anew. It’s not a pleasant process. It’s a process that shatters all illusions, and shines an unflinchingly critical light on everything. It’s finally a process whose authenticity you can test in one way: you will know you are successful when you find yourself at odds with a majority of our current society and what it advocates. Alienation is the current fruit of the pursuit of transcendence.
And thus, we return to that astounding word: "Metanoia." We are all works in progress, and this command cannot be fully embraced with a soul tainted by filth and arrogance, nor can such a soul avoid dragging down and sinking the fragile little vessel we are given when we are directed to "put out into the deep." It necessitates a complete reconsideration of our internal disposition; otherwise, it is ultimately meaningless.
My musical journey has consistently mirrored and been an integral part of my spiritual journey, and that is the essence of my composition for eight cellos—Metanoia. It serves as a contemplative auditory meditation on the arduous process of spiritual struggle and transformation, featuring occasional searing "eureka" moments that only lead to further introspection. It begins in the depths of the earth, reaches as far as you can at this time, and genuinely breaks through the clouds, offering a fleeting glimpse of our ultimate destiny (or perhaps just a distant echo of it?) before painfully descending back to earth, regrouping, brushing off the dust from the rough landing, and continuing onward again.
All purchase options for Metanoia are listed here:
https://naxos.lnk.to/DUX1916?mc_cid=93365de9b3
For more music and information, please visit:
www.marknowakowski.com